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merricats:

oldmanhoho:

you know you’ve made a good pun when everyone’s immediate response upon hearing it is “shut the fuck up”

#the highest compliment any pun can receive

earthnation:

people who have the same name as me are competition 

castielandhishunters:

calumon:

my school’s “rival school” is on lockdown right now bc someone put weed in the vents so everyones slowly getting high oh my godd

I guess now you could call it a high school

whitewanke-r:

imaginefucking:

Imagine fucking Zac Efron. He blindfolds you and ties you to the bed. All of a sudden, you feel several pairs of hands on your thighs. Zac removes the blindfold, and you find yourself staring at Corbin Bleu, Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Tisdale feeling up on your bod. They whisper in unison, “We’re all in this together.”

There are some things you can’t unread

prepaidwifi:

my brother made a ‘hammock’ and has been watching tv like that for an hour

prepaidwifi:

my brother made a ‘hammock’ and has been watching tv like that for an hour

asap-tran:

really-shit:

If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.

fuck

im so ugly its like god was playing the sims and he clicked the randomize button

cybergay:

cloudy with a chance of me not getting laid this summer 

epic-humor:

inboxBefore Tumblr i thought blogging was something 30 year old single mothers did. Discussing recipes and parenting techniques

Who invented the blow job?

Like, who wakes up one day and thinks “today, I will suck a dick

pizza:

since facebook did that thing my newsfeed has been like this

pizza:

since facebook did that thing my newsfeed has been like this

beyonco:

are you a proton cause i’m negative and attracted to you

karla-world:

16 yrs and we’re still going strong <3 Love you babe

karla-world:

16 yrs and we’re still going strong <3 Love you babe